By Felicia, on February 13th, 2012
Each of us deals with Anger in a different way. Some internalize it, some ignore it and some spread it around by projecting onto others. But anger always finds a way to deeply affect the person who carries it within themselves. Anger always finds a way out but we are the only ones who can control it once it is out.
I find when I am angry, really angry; I have to process it within myself first. I have to figure out the why, how and who before I can confront whomever or whatever has made me angry. I look at the past, present and future when thinking about the confrontation that will be inevitable. I didn’t used to be this way, anger used to cause me to turn into a person who instigated and enjoyed the fight but as I have grown and learned, I have realized that this is the least proactive way to handle the anger. It tends to cause the person I am confronting to become defensive and stop listening and the issue I am angry at to stay the same and cause me to look like an idiot for yelling before I think.
By processing the anger before the confronting, I am looking at all the sides. I am thinking before I speak (always a smart option) and I am going into whatever confrontation with a clear intent on what I need to say to make sure I am not angry again. Another reason I process before I confront is that if I don’t, the anger will take me over. It will bother me in every aspect of my life and cause me to turn into a person that I and others don’t like. I will and have become a person who is always angry, always confrontational and always unhappy. This is not who I want to be…ever.
It is hard to process anger and there are still situations where I run my mouth or let the anger consume me but I am aware of it now and try to think things through as much as possible so I don’t look and feel like an idiot.